[00:00:00] Speaker A: Are you looking for a savvy speaker to add value to your upcoming event?
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[00:00:12] Speaker B: 360 in mind, body, spirit and Finances. I invite you to stay connected, subscribe to this channel and visit me
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[00:00:22] Speaker A: now for today's segment that keeps audiences engaged from the very first minute.
She's a thought leader, serial entrepreneur, author, leadership, humanitarian and purpose pusher that produces impactful dialogue. Her style blends queer expertise with authentic storytelling and humorous candor, making even complex
[00:00:43] Speaker B: ideas attainable and actionable.
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[00:02:11] Speaker B: Wonderful.
My guest today is Robin H. Claire. She's a best selling author and creator of the Harmony Method, a transformative framework that guides people to live and lead with greater ease, clarity and alignment. Now that's my word. Alignment. Please help me welcome her with your biggest cheer. Hello Robin, how are you?
[00:02:33] Speaker D: Good Cindy, how are you today?
[00:02:35] Speaker B: I am well. I am well. So super excited to have you here with us today. Me, I'm gonna jump right in. You know, whenever they sent me your information, one of the things that caught me was alignment and the other thing that caught me was the healing journey. Tell us how you got here. I know you've got years and years of experience to bring tell out. Tell us how you got here, how you got to this point and how was your healing journey.
[00:02:59] Speaker D: Yes, so my so I was in addiction for 40 years with a very common addiction that people don't necessarily believe is an addiction. And that is to food, obsessive compulsive eating.
And then on top of that, I had a secondary addiction, which was bulimia. So I was bulimic most of my. Most of my adult life.
And I was bulimic up until I realized that I think I'm going to die from this.
Like, I started bleeding from my nose, and I could feel my. My head was pounding. Like, I think I'm going to blow a gasket here.
And so that led me to my healing journey.
And my healing journey was also very much guided by the fact that I'm a spiritual, a deeply spiritual person.
And I believe that we are a soul being having a human being experience, and that we are here to learn what our soul wants us to know and what we're supposed to teach.
I also believe that whatever is our struggle in life, whatever we're struggling on, is typically what we're here to teach.
And so once we can get through that struggle, once we can surrender that struggle and we can accept the grace that comes into our lives, we then move into a place of being able to serve and teach it.
And so for me, during this time on this deeply spiritual path, I heard six words from the spiritual realm. And I know that I heard them because people will say, how do you know it wasn't in your head? There was actually a male voice.
So I know I don't have any male voices in my head. At least I don't think so. And the six words were awareness, commitment, mastery, service, leadership, and freedom. And I just love those words. And I really. At the beginning, Cindy, I thought that they were the six stages of spiritual success, because that's where I was at.
And yes, they were that, because they're the six stages or the six elements of true success in any endeavor. Whatever you're looking at. Relationships, work, health, creativity, political support, whatever it is, whatever you're doing, addiction, recovery. These six elements followed in hopefully an order that makes sense to you will lead to the alignment of your inner world and your outer expression.
And so ultimately, what we're trying to get to and people have. Have said this to me, is God, Robin, with you, what you see is what you get.
And I think that's the ultimate.
The ultimate compliment is that who you are on the inside reflects who you are on the outside. Now, it can be a real dis if you're not a nice person on the outside and you're not a nice person to yourself. But it's the truth.
[00:06:26] Speaker B: They said it was an old adage but it's a fact that, you know, you can be beautiful on the outside, but if you've got an ugly attitude, it makes you ugly on the outside. It's just like an apple, you know, being rotten to the core. It's going to show on the outside
[00:06:39] Speaker D: or if you're truly unhappy on the inside, you are going to express that to others.
[00:06:45] Speaker B: Absolutely.
[00:06:46] Speaker D: Whether you do, you're doing it on purpose or just the way that you are in the world.
So for me, the way that I was able to get into long term recovery was to be able to walk through the Harmony method. And I didn't know it was the Harmony method while I was walking through it until I heard another voice, kept saying to me, harmony, Harmony. And I always thought of my mother who had passed. She would always say that harmony. Like if the family was fighting, right. I'm like, I don't think that's what the word is that I'm hearing. And then I realized that these six words were the path to harmony.
And so in my recovery it was just simply awareness was that, well, I'm going to pass away from this if I don't do something about it.
And that was huge. So then commitment was, what am I going to do to be able to come into long term recovery? What is it going to take?
And so I began working with a therapist. I began staying truer to my spiritual path. I began to get true with myself about what? What were the trauma patterns in my past that created the suffering, that created the need for me to feel better by overeating? And then why was I true to
[00:08:22] Speaker B: yourself, true to whatever it is, Tell yourself the truth and why did I
[00:08:26] Speaker D: need to punish myself by, with the bulimia? Like what was it about myself? And so I made this commitment to truly understand. So we have awareness of the, of the true pro of the problem and then commitment to finding the answer. Mastery is the embodiment of the answers.
You start to become the answers, right. You start to, to heal and to embody the teachings. And so for me it was, I, I took my healing extremely seriously.
And even when I would leave the therapist office, I, there would be things I would hear that I'd be like, I have to spend more time with that. So for me, therapy wasn't just showing up for an hour, it was doing the healing constantly all week and continuing on the spiritual path.
Which, yeah. Which then led to service, which was my, where I'm a writer, I write spiritual self help books and that's my form of. And I Come on podcasts and I speak and then I have a private practice. That's my way of taking what my soul wanted me to learn this lifetime and bring it out into the world. That's the service. Then the leadership is what I shared earlier. What you see is what you get. I am the walking example of my recovery.
I, I look at my mind, my body, my spirit and my emotion and I work on those daily, you know, in subtle ways, sometimes in overt ways, others. But long term recovery, the freedom of long term recovery requires the working on your mind, body, spirit and emotion at the same time.
Because any one of those can knock you off the, off the trail of recovery. Right. And so you've got to be, you've got to be working those and that becomes the freedom.
Because my inner world, my cohesive inner world, is who I am bringing to the outside world. And there's no greater freedom, I believe, than not living from a place of angst between who you are inside and who you choose to be outside.
So to me, that's the greatest form of freedom is that alignment of your truth inside matching your truth in the world.
And all of that is the vibration of harmony.
[00:11:15] Speaker B: Yeah. Every time I think of that, I often go back to the good Book with the scripture in Jeremiah where he said that he foreknew him, he knew him before he was here, before he had a name while he was in his mother's womb. And I do believe a lot of times our alignment is out of sync. When you're trying to fix everything yourself, you're trying to, to use your brain to try to figure it out, use your brain. But you have to work in partnership with the good Lord so that when you hear his voice and get these instructions, you know how to execute them.
[00:11:46] Speaker D: Yes. So when I was on the path of trying to be in recovery, I had received guidance from the spiritual realm to write the book Feast and Famine Healing Addiction with Grace from.
It was a, it was a request from Sophia, who many know as, as the Divine Mother or the Holy Spirit, however you want to look at her.
And I, and I said, I, I, I'm not in recovery. How can I write this book?
And she said, just write it. And so I wrote it. And at the end, my ending of the book was, I hope this book helped you. It didn't help me have a nice life.
And then I put it on the shelf because I couldn't, I couldn't publish it like that. And so then eventually I became, I came into recovery. But her four steps I call it Sophia's Healing Path, and I'd love to share them with your audience.
And the first is, is that pain is inevitable.
Like, we cannot get out of this life without pain. It's like death and taxes. Right? Pain is inevitable. Especially since we're mind, body, spirit, and emotion. We're just gonna get hit with pain. And there's other people in our lives and the world has politicians and, you know, we're worried. You know, we have our children, our parents, our siblings. Right. We're worried about them. There's just pain. The potential for pain is everywhere. So pain is inevitable is what she said. The second is suffering is an option.
And I don't think a lot of people know that. I think that everyone starts out by believing that pain and suffering are the same thing, but they're not.
Pain is pain. Suffering is pain.
[00:13:46] Speaker B: An attitude and a response to pain
[00:13:49] Speaker D: and a response to the pain. Thank you. So pain is inevitable. Suffering is an option. My. My third one.
The third thing she said is surrender is required.
And I love that, because surrender. Let's talk about what surrender isn't. Surrender is not wishful thinking.
I wish I didn't eat so much. I wish I didn't have bulimia. I wish I didn't drink too much. I didn't. I wish, I wish, I wish. Wishing is not surrender. Surrender. And I am sure, Cindy, you have surrendered lots of things in your life with surrender is, I am not going to do that again.
[00:14:30] Speaker B: And I'm not in control.
[00:14:32] Speaker D: And I'm.
[00:14:32] Speaker B: And you're not in control.
[00:14:34] Speaker D: I am not in control.
[00:14:35] Speaker B: Like to think we are in control. You start to bump that wheel, everything falls apart. Yes, you have to surrender. You have to surrender.
[00:14:44] Speaker D: So render allows.
Yes. So a surrender. So pain is inevitable. Suffering is an option. Surrender is required. And the last thing she said was, grace must be allowed.
And I. I really had to think about that one when I was writing, because grace is something.
And I know you know this. It's available to us 24 7, but we don't necessarily allow it. If we haven't done our healing work, if we haven't healed our trauma patterns, we may not think that we are deserving of grace. So let's.
[00:15:26] Speaker B: Let's. Let's unpack that. Yeah, we talk about grace. I like to call it the unmerited favor.
[00:15:32] Speaker D: Yes.
[00:15:32] Speaker B: You know, but let's unpack it. So when you say you have to accept it, one of the key elements of people not accepting or feeling deserving of grace is not forgiving Themselves. What is your take on that?
[00:15:50] Speaker D: Totally, totally agree with that. Because we have been subjected to trauma our whole lives. Even as a baby, our parents didn't know what they were doing. I mean, really, let's, let's just call it that. There's no manual that comes for being a parent.
[00:16:09] Speaker B: Absolutely.
[00:16:10] Speaker D: So the very beginning, they don't know what they're doing. They're causing trauma for us just by the words that they say, even. Right. And then we go to, we have siblings and then we go to school, and then we have relationships and then we have shitty bosses. Excuse my language. Right. But we have all these ways and, and so we don't know how to forgive ourselves or forgive others because we're in a constant state of suffering that from all of these patterns, these patterns of suffering that have been part of who we were. One of the things I said to you was I had to understand what created my suffering. And when I looked back, there's a wonderful book out there, it's called the Big Leap by Gay Hendricks. And it talks about that we all, all live our lives at our state of brilliance. Like, we try to do the best that we can, but we really are here to live at the soul level, which is our state of genius, but in between our upper level beliefs that stop us from living at our genius level. And that to me, that whole area in between brilliance and genius is all of the trauma that we need to heal.
And so one of the things I noticed was I made it stick. He told you, said, make a stick figure of yourself and look at all your trauma patterns and see if they have anything in common. So I started from when I was really little where my dad washed his car and the six kids and someone put their little hand on it, muddy hand on it, and he put all of our little hands up against the car and mine fit, but I didn't do it.
And so he put me in timeout for the whole day. And my mom said, I screamed, I didn't do it. I didn't do it. I didn't, I didn't stop screaming for hours. And, and it was the first time that I experienced what I call humiliation.
And for me, every one of my little parts of myself that I knew were traumatic for me had some level of humiliation. And I then came to understand that the bulimia, because I. Because I was so upset with myself and for overeating and not being able to control myself, I would self humiliate myself by self sabotage by doing the bulimia right. And Even every time I did the bulimia, I would look in the bathroom mirror and I would roll my eyes at myself, which made me realize that I was judging myself. And so what I needed to understand from my life to be able to take out the emotional charge of my experiences, because they don't go away. Our past doesn't go away, but we can remove the emotional charge of it was to understand or to say to myself, no one can humiliate me, including myself, unless I give them or me the title of judge.
And if I don't give them the title of judge, they can't humiliate me.
[00:19:35] Speaker B: So how do you not give them the title of judge?
[00:19:37] Speaker D: I just don't. I just. They say something to me and I say to them, well, that's interesting. First I pause. So first I practice the pause so that I don't really blurt out what
[00:19:49] Speaker B: I want to respond and not react.
[00:19:52] Speaker D: Right.
And. And then I say, well, that's very interesting.
Thank you for your opinion, or screw you. Right. Like, I can also say that if I want to. Right. Like I can react the way that I want, but for the most part, because I practice the pause, I'm like, that's interesting. I'll think about that. Thank you so much. And then I just go on. Now people are probably listening and saying, how can you do that when someone judges you?
[00:20:22] Speaker B: But it's just, oh, no, it's possible.
[00:20:25] Speaker D: It's just their opinion.
[00:20:26] Speaker C: It is.
[00:20:27] Speaker B: It is emotional maturity, and it is a discipline.
Some people catch it, you know, readily. They move quickly. And then sometimes it's a. It's a process, you know, you have to know your worth, know whose you are, know where you're going at least part of the way, and have. Coming from yourself. And then that way it makes it easier for you to pause, reflect before you react. Then you're able to respond, you know, so that, that makes it easier when you.
When you know your worth at least a little bit. Just. Just know it. Just a little bit, because that's self respect and discipline.
[00:21:06] Speaker D: I agree with you. And really, Cindy, when you think about it, and 9 out of 10 times when someone is not nice to you or mean to you, it's them, not you.
[00:21:20] Speaker B: Absolutely.
[00:21:21] Speaker D: And if we could really remember that, that they're speaking from a hurt place
[00:21:26] Speaker B: inside of them and hurt people. Hurt people. Yeah, unfortunately.
[00:21:32] Speaker D: Yeah.
[00:21:32] Speaker B: And sometimes you're the recipient of a hurt person hurting a person for no reason at all. You know, it goes back to what you mentioned about the harmony method. You Know, how does a person align themselves and begin to operate those principles in their life for harmony? It starts with self healing. That's why I went there first.
Yeah, that's why I went there first about your healing journey. Because everybody, I don't like to hear when people say, what's your story? What's your story? It's not a story. It's a journey. It's a reality. This is, this was a part of your life. Though your past does not define your future, it does shape it as to what you choose to present as your healed version or your unhealed version.
[00:22:23] Speaker D: Yes, in. In LinkedIn today, I happened to come up across a TED talk, and it was about the fact that most of us have a broken heart.
In my book Messiah within, which I wrote with Yeshua, or Jesus, as many people know him have, he said, not only do we all have a broken heart, but many of us have a shattered heart.
And then we learn to live and love. We learn to love others by giving away pieces of our heart so that we never have a whole heart because it was shattered to begin with. And then, I mean, even I, I even caught myself saying, oh, I gave him a piece of my heart.
Like, we don't give. We. We want it. He encourages us to have a whole heart and then live from there.
[00:23:20] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:23:21] Speaker D: And, and so I found that very interesting. And so I shared that today in LinkedIn, which is my business profile. But I said the path to harmony or true success in business starts with the healing of your inner world.
[00:23:38] Speaker B: Yes, yes. You can't pour. And I say that often, you can't pour from an empty vessel or empty place. You have to fill up. And one of the things, even as, as we begin to age and mature and grow, you know, you're thinking that the scars from the past don't need to be healed. They're part of the past. It is what it is. Let's move on. You know, but these scars, a lot of times are your testimonials as witnesses that a person can move past it. So a lot of times, if you're walking or living in an unhealed place, you don't want to talk about those scars. You. You suppress them. You don't want to talk about it. You block it out. But a healed person or a person on a healing journey understands that every thing from the past, be it at their hand or someone else, was not their fault. Then secondly, they begin to understand that makes them who they are today. Oh, but yes, they learned from it. It makes Them who they are today, in fact. Thirdly, and finally, you know, a lot of times people, they're trying to mend everybody else and don't realize that these are things from your past that you can use to catapult people without mending them. Sometimes just a simple share of your journey is healing enough for another person. You can't fix a broken person. You can only pour what you can pour into them if they're willing to accept grace, if they're willing to accept the options and the information, your opinion as fact or opinion.
But that bottom line of sharing, not giving a piece of you, but sharing your journey, whatever that may look like for that individual, sharing a piece of your journey as you're led. And I always say, you know, I look for the holy spir to really guide and lead my heart because otherwise you're talking and, and you're saying things and you're just throwing things out and you're not using wisdom as to when to open your mouth and when not to open your mouth.
So not giving a part of yourself, that third one is very strong.
Just to be able to encourage or share your story, to know that a lot of times the things from the past had nothing to do with you. It was preparing you for a future endeavor, future event, future. Someone that's going to cross your path, that needs what you have to say, needs what you have to give.
[00:26:18] Speaker D: Yeah, you know, you, I also think this is just my personal spiritual belief. I believe that people come into our lives for a reason, a season or a lifetime.
And I believe that we chose these people who are part of our soul family before we even arrived here.
Like I really saw that with my mother because my mother drove me crazy about my weight from the time I was in, by the time, by the, by 6 years old she had me on a diet and she would just say things my whole life. Even when I told her, I'm trying to get better, please don't talk about my body.
Like, like I came out in a shirt. And she'd be like, don't you think you should cover your arms? I'm like, ma, that's not what you can say to me anymore. And then at one point I was going to tell her about my book and I wrote about her in the book about how she drove me crazy.
Feast and famine. And I went to her house in Florida and I, I, I, I never talked about it. And, and she was behind me and I was typing, getting my boarding tickets and I said, haha, spirit, I never told my Mother about the book, like a two year old, right? I was really kind of fresh. All of a sudden, from behind me, I hear my mom say, I really don't understand why people throw up their food.
I mean, it had been years since we had the rule on not discussing that. I turn around really slowly in my chair, right? All of a sudden I felt like my soul, part of my soul energy come out and stand next to me. It was literally, I could feel it standing next to me.
And I'm like, I don't know what this means. And then I said to my mother, from this place, from this larger soul version of myself, I said, you're really not going to change, are you?
And she goes, no, I'm not going to change. And I said, so why do I keep trying to change you? She's like, I don't know. I go, all right, can we just say that you're still going to try your best and I'm not going to try to change you?
And she's like, yes, let's come to that agreement.
And then I told her about the book and she's like, I knew about the book. I knew you were writing. Like, it wound up like I was so had all this angst for nothing, right? But then I felt my energy come back into alignment within me. And then from that on, my mom and my relationship was perfect because I was able to accept her for who she was. And for some, she. She also never brought it up again.
[00:29:15] Speaker B: So a lot of times, you know, I congratulate you on that. I'm so proud of you.
Again, a lot of times, because we set out to fix a person, place or thing, we fail because you can't. Especially adults, you know, they talk about the old dogs and new tricks and, you know, can't teach them.
I'll come back. But in essence, this is the core of who they are.
Sometimes again, you know, you can offer your opinion, you can offer, you know, thoughtful advice, but you have to do, you know, be respectful with it. And then like I used to tell my daughter coming up, and I said, you know, presentation is everything.
You can deliver bad news with a good attitude and a person will receive it. But if your tone is wrong, if your presentation is wrong, or if you come off accusatory, you know, or judgmental, that person blocks it out. They're really not hearing anything that you're saying. They're hearing your tone.
So as you begin to heal, these are things that you learn. As you begin to grow and mature, these are things that you you, you learn because it's a dialogue.
It's. It's not a monologue. It's a dialogue. And both parties have to be willing to participate and be a part of it. If not, cut your losses, respond and don't react.
[00:30:44] Speaker D: I. That your, your, your advice there reminds me of one time my husband and I were in the kitchen and I did something, nothing worthy of, of, of his reaction.
And his reaction was really bad, really bad.
And verbally. And I said to him, I don't know what made me react this way, but I said, geez, it sounds like you're really upset. Is there is something wrong? Like who reacts like that? You know, you normally, you're like, you know, you know, and yelling back, but
[00:31:18] Speaker B: kind word turns away raft. Yeah.
[00:31:21] Speaker D: And, and he said to me, yes, actually, I'm not mad about this, but I asked you for that tax information so I could do the taxes last weekend and you never gave it to me.
Nothing to do with, with what happens in the kitchen. It was just so out of character. Right. That I knew that it wasn't something I did in the kitchen, but there was something that he was really upset about and just that language. Wow, it seems like you're really upset. Is there something I can do to help?
That totally diffuses the conversation and welcomes in non violent, a non violent response to sort of a verbally violent kind of, you know, conversation.
And it just, it's just something I try to do now when I see people who are really upset and talking at me, I'm like, all right, well I know I didn't do anything and if I did, I really want to know.
[00:32:29] Speaker B: Yeah. So I'm going to absolutely get to the absolute root cause. Don't start with the fruit, start with the root.
Yeah.
[00:32:38] Speaker D: Yeah.
[00:32:39] Speaker B: How can people get in contact with you and find Facebook and if they want to connect with you, how can they do that?
[00:32:44] Speaker D: They can do that. So I, Cindy, I. I have a website. It's Robin H Claire C l a r e.com but you can also get there just putting harmony with Robin and, and I have lots of ways for people to connect with me there. Lots of ways to work with me, but also a lot of great just writing and free writing and free pod. All my podcast information is out there in stories.
So however people want to connect with me. My books are all in Amazon and yeah. And I'm just really thrilled to be here. I'm thrilled to share this message of healing.
[00:33:27] Speaker B: We've been happy to have. Very happy to have you and I believe the listeners really lear learned a lot from you.
We'll definitely put your information down in the descriptions.
What are your parting words?
[00:33:38] Speaker D: My parting words, I'm gonna go back to to Sophia's path and just say if you're experiencing suffering in your life, know that it's real and it comes from the pain that you've experienced. And so in order to heal from that suffering, which is truly the main addiction, right. We pick our poison in the secondary addictions, whatever it is we're doing to feel better. So suffering is an option.
Surrender is required. And of course, grace must be allowed.
[00:34:15] Speaker B: Yes. Thank you. Thank you so much for being here.
[00:34:18] Speaker D: You're welcome.
[00:34:21] Speaker B: Thank you again for tuning in to complete wellness with Cindy the Busy Woman's Cheerleader. Follow me on social media Woman's Cheerleader Remember, together we write our stories, share our journeys, create memories and leave our marks in history until next time. Peace, blessings and joy be multiplied to you. Ta Ta.
[00:46:15] Speaker A: Are you looking for a savvy speaker to add value to your upcoming event? Cindy the busy woman's cheerleader empowers group success across the globe to thrive. 360 on purpose in mind, body, spirit and finances. As a dynamic speaker known for delivering insight in a relatable tone, Cindy brings real world experience, practical strategies and an energy that keeps audiences engaged from the very first minute. She's a thought leader, serial entrepreneur, author, leadership coach, humanitarian and and purpose pusher that produces impactful dialogues. Her style blends clear expertise with authentic storytelling and humorous candor, making even complex ideas attainable and actionable for every audience. Be it faith based, co ed or secular. Whether your goal is to empower, educate or spark positive change, Cindy creates an inclusive environment where people feel seen, motivated and ready to act. She's now accepting new speaking engagements. Book the Busy Woman's Cheerleader today. Submit your request by email to thrive athesindyrand.com or online through www.thecindyrand.com.
make your event most memorable and remember, together we can thrive. 360 on purpose are you looking.
